Have you ever had feelings for someone and, at any stage, sat down and thought ‘I don’t know how to say I love you’?
If so, then you’re not alone. Far from it, in fact.
But you’re in luck. Today, help is at hand – this article will address all your fears and anxieties.
At LoveLettersAreUs, we’re here to help because we know that life is never straightforward; conquering love and finding happiness can frequently be tricky.
For starters, as humans, we’re all different. Telling someone that you love him or her might be easy for one person, but devilishly difficult for another.
Besides, the reality is, everyone has trouble expressing him or herself at some point in their lives. Initially, you might find it hard to come up with the right words, but even if you do know what you’d like to say, then you’re faced with the delivery.
Let’s be honest: male or female, many a steely-eyed romantic has gone weak at the knees when faced with the prospect of trying to convey something poetic to a potential love interest.
Many a stiff upper lip has gone to goo under the pressure of making a groveling, heartfelt apology.
And many a wishful thinker has muddled their minds when trying to utter a meaningful message to someone they adore.
(Don’t forget, there’s a good reason why people fear public speaking more than death.)
Suppose you actually manage to ready yourself to make your declaration of love. Then, to complicate things further, when it comes to matters of the heart, much will depend on context.
Who are you saying ‘I love you’ to?
Are you telling someone that you love them for the first time? Do you need to say sorry for something? Are you trying to win a partner back?
Depending on your answers, you’ll need a different approach.
Nope, it’s not easy. And these feelings won’t go away if you fail to deal with them. In fact, if you’d like to tell someone that you love them and you don’t, then this is more likely to eat away at you.
You could end up feeling sad, unfulfilled and miserable for years to come.
So let’s sort you out, eh? You’ve got nothing to lose. As the saying goes, it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
We’re going to point you in the right direction and give you a fighting chance of achieving what you want, no matter who you are or what your situation is.
Let’s start by looking at why we usually tell people that we love them.
At LoveLettersAreUs, we consider ourselves to be relationship experts. And our experiences have told us that typically, there are three different reasons why we might want to tell someone that we care deeply about them.
Reason 1: That first-time declaration of love
No surprises here. Suppose you have feelings for someone and, for one reason or another, they don’t know that you care about them.
Once you’ve gotten past all the inevitable self-doubt and nerves, you’ll want to tell that special someone that you love them.
Reason 2: To say sorry
We’re not here to be judge and jury. This is real life and the truth is, none of us are perfect. We all make mistakes.
You might want or need to say sorry to a partner, a family member or a friend. Regardless, the important thing here is that you’re trying to make amends.
Reason 3: To tell someone that you want him or her back
Perhaps you’ve done something that’s alienated you from a previous partner?
The third most common reason for telling something that you love them is to try and win back a person that you’ve got feelings for.
These are the three scenarios where we usually reveal our feelings. The one thing that all three declarations have in common is this:
They all need a good result.
So, that being the case, how do you tell someone that you love them?
There are many different ideas on how to say I love you.
From the traditional to the modern, there are loads of romantic and adorable ways of saying I love you.
There are ways of saying it without saying it, such as by sending flowers.
You can use creative ways to say I love you by penning a poem or making something. Maybe you could learn how to say I love you in different languages.
And what about how to say I love you for the first time? You might be better off saying I love you in a text or in a similarly simple way.
Or you could borrow inspiration from someone else and use one or two of the millions of romantic I love you quotes from across history.
Really, the only boundaries are the limits of your imagination.
However, in our opinion, there is one way of saying I love you that stands out more than any other.
Without a doubt, we’d always recommend using a letter to tell someone something important.
There are 3 main reasons why using a letter to tell somebody that you love them ticks every box time and time again:
You don’t have to worry about saying or remembering exactly what’s on your mind. It’s hard enough coming to the decision that you’re going say something, without having to stress over learning some sort of script.
As well as alternative ways, there are also different words to say I love you. And as these are likely to be some of the most important words you’ll ever say, so why not retain as much control over the situation as you can?
It’s easier to include everything that you want to say in a letter and present all your thoughts in a coherent way.
Sometimes it’s not what you say, but the way you say it that matters. You can have the best plan in the world, but if you’re not able to communicate your feelings effectively, you’re fighting a losing battle.
Essentially, a letter is a journey. You’re more likely to be able to walk someone through that journey when there is an obvious start, middle and end.
This may sound a little cold, but it’s worth taking the emotion out of a situation for a moment. You want the target of your affections to be convinced by something that you’ve got to say.
Ultimately, they’re far more likely to do that when they’re met with an organised message that’s not jumbled up.
No matter what the nature of your declaration is, your special someone is more likely to absorb everything contained within a letter. In fact, they’re probably going to reread a love letter multiple times.
They’re timeless. This is something that could be cherished for years and years.
Contrast that with the scenario of being face-to-face with someone and all the additional variables at play.
Think back to your last conversation with someone in your day-to-day life. It’s all too easy to become distracted with the tone of their voice, how they’re looking at you or what you’re feeling at that specific moment in time.
A letter is perhaps more open to scrutiny, but if you’ve written the right words, you can be confident of achieving the result you want.
Love letters leverage the power of our feelings
The temptation is to think of love letters as a bit weird, especially in today’s world. But that would be a mistake.
Yup, it’s easier to find off an SMS, send an email or buy an impulse gift online, but how much is that really saying about you and your feelings?
Put it this way:
Would you like to receive a love letter?
No matter what anyone says, there isn’t a person alive who wouldn’t secretly feel grateful that another human being had taken the time and trouble to pour their heart and soul into a letter that’s just for their eyes only.
It’s something about the effort and level of transparency involved that’s a little humbling.
At the end of the day, you can’t argue with facts. The best way to tell someone that you love them is that way that gets the best result.
The proof is in the pudding. We’re firm believers in the power of lover letters. We’ve seen them work time and time again.
They’ll work no matter whether you’re writing a letter for your mother, your father, your bestie, your spouse or that crush you’ve had since you were young.
Now don’t assume that a love letter has to be all gushy. That’s just an inaccurate stereotype. Some of the most effective letters contain powerful stories, phrases and declarations. It’s about laying your heart out on the table.
Most people sound better on a page than they do in person. There’s no shame in admitting that.
A love letter is far more likely to strengthen a relationship. Ironically, this is about cold, hard science: we’re hard-wired to respond to affirmation. And a love letter is the perfect medium for conveying this.
How do you know what to write in a love letter?
Perhaps that’s your only sticking point…
If that’s the case, then why not consider using one of our love letters? We have three ideal templates that you can use and adapt for your particular circumstances.
We’ve done all the hard work for you. We’ve tried and tested many different styles. After a lot of research and effort, we’ve developed three love letters that have achieved many positive results.
So you’re totally out of excuses.
Be proud of yourself. Knowing that you’d like to say something is an important step. Now it’s a case of making the next move.
One letter can change your life forever.
The question is, will it change yours?